Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Strengths and Weaknesses

God has had some great ideas.

Sunshine: Awesome.  Children: Amazing. Grace: Inconceivable.

One of the best, by far though, definitely has to be marriage.  And not just the actual marriage, but the process of Him bringing two people who are completely different and making them one.

Perfect example?

Could not be more opposite.

Let me give you just one of the millions of ways.


On one hand, there is me--a total disaster.  (More disastrous than our house but not as bad as this one).

Then on the other hand, which probably has a Tiffany ring on it, there is David.  (I had to google "famous jewelry brands" to come up with that one.  See, this is worse than you thought, huh?)

David was voted best dressed when he was in high school.  In college he wore little glasses--not because he needed them--but as an accessory. 

Accessories?? I did not buy my first belt until I went off to COLLEGE.  A plain brown leather belt.  And even with that, I felt like I was really "out there".

When we were in college and David was secretly madly in love with me :), he and our friend Katie made a list of reasons why I should like him.  (Aptly entitled, "David and Stephanie: Why the heck not.")  Reason #1 on why I should like him: David has a wide array of sweaters.

When I worked for Children's Wish Foundation, I went an entire day (8+ hours) before I realized I was wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe.  Never even paid attention to it.  Oh, one was flat and one had a heel. Like David said recently, Fashionably Clueless.

So part of Dave's duties as my husband (which, in retrospect probably should have been included in our vows), is providing me fashion advice.

Well, not really advice, per se.  Maybe more like fashion edicts.

The first thing I hear every morning as I come out of the closet is, "No way.  Steph.  What are you thinking?"

Now, before you start thinking he is some cruel, controlling monster, let me tell you. . .

 It's not vanity--It's for humanity.

I come out in all kind of get-ups.  Apparently, fleece vests are not okay with dress shirts? Give me a little slack; We don't have a mirror.

Lately though, he has been slacking a little.  Letting me out of the house in some horrible choices-which I don't realize until I catch a glimpse of myself in a public reflection.  Or until a stranger at the mall says something to me like, "Have you tried on that dress? It looked awful on me-like a potato sack.  But, uh, maybe you like that kinda thing."  I looked down.  David let me leave the house in green tights and a HUGE brown sweater with no belt--apparently this is where a knowledge of accessories would have helped--blue necklace and a polka dot headband.

After that, I decided to test him to see if he is even trying to help me any more. A few weekends ago we got ready to go out with some friends.  I got dressed, we walked down to the parking lot of our loft together, got in the car and drove 20 minutes to our friends' house.  While in the car, I took this photo of my hair:  

The entire ride there, he never uttered a word about it.  



Kam said...

so we're crying in the bed again...

Amy said...

You guys are so much fun! Makes me want to get to know you better :)

Jessica McClure said...

Steph, I am cracking up reading your posts-and sharing them with the people I live with. I forgot how much your LIFE is just fodder for the comedic . You really haven't changed. Thanks for still living a life full of fun and laughter!

Unknown said...

I don't see anything wrong with your do :) You're hilarious & yes, David is slacking for sure!!!!

Ashleigh said...

i miss you! you're hilarious


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