Monday, January 31, 2011

[ Risk ]*

David and I are total opposites in lots of ways.

Have I mentioned that once before?

(Or a million-gazillion times?)

A few months ago, we took photos of these cuties:

And they told me that the word "google" means "a really, really big number".

If that is true, then I've said that Dave and I are opposites at least a google times.

Today was a perfect example of that oppositeness.

We met with a Financial Advisor today about our massive gobs of money and how we could invest those gobs into Swiss bank accounts in hopes of one day buying our own island off of the coast of Dubai...

. . . rolling over our retirement accounts.

First things first, Alan (the financial guru) asked our level of comfort with risk.

Me first.

I pulled out my paperwork.  Let's see.  I get a .1% annual return on my IRA.

Let me break that down for you.  Let's say I have $100 in my account.  Last year I could have made. . . are you ready for this number to blow your mind?. . .10 cents.


I'm blushing with embarrassment realizing that I'd be just as good with it piled under our mattress.  But, unfortunately there is no room under our mattress because David stores our machetes there.  (This, sadly, is also true.)

Needless to say, historically I have been a low-risk investor. (Understatement of the last google years).

David's turn.

Alan looks to him, "How about you?" (Translation: Your wife is hopeless, please tell me that you know what you are doing.)

"I don't really have any money left in my IRA."

Dave pauses (for dramatic effect no doubt) and then continues,

"Have you heard of Mohler International?  They build flying cars. Yeah, I put my money there."

My risk level: Ten cents a year.
David's risk level: Cars. . .that. . . fly.



katie davis said...

i suddenly want to know what the rest of that conversation went like...

Stephanie Cannon said...

Honestly, Katie, after David said that he had lost all of his money investing it in flying cars, the financial advisor and I were pretty much rendered speechless.

Kristen Keeling said...

I'm seriously dying!!! I thought you were just like Bear but I'm pretty much with you on this one. I would just hole up all our money...until there was a sale at Elephant Trunk in Athens and then I'd spend it all on cute beach outfits for Esther Grace. Okay, nevermind. At least mine's cuter than flying cars. :)

Hannah D said...

I love you. Both of you. Googles.

Melia said...

Thank you for making my life seem not quite as crazy as I believed! Flying cars...bwahahahaha! Oh, you pretty chitty bang bang, chitty chitty bang bang we love you!


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