[ Risk ]*

David and I are total opposites in lots of ways.

Have I mentioned that once before?

(Or a million-gazillion times?)

A few months ago, we took photos of these cuties:

And they told me that the word "google" means "a really, really big number".

If that is true, then I've said that Dave and I are opposites at least a google times.

Today was a perfect example of that oppositeness.

We met with a Financial Advisor today about our massive gobs of money and how we could invest those gobs into Swiss bank accounts in hopes of one day buying our own island off of the coast of Dubai...


. . . rolling over our retirement accounts.

First things first, Alan (the financial guru) asked our level of comfort with risk.

Me first.

I pulled out my paperwork.  Let's see.  I get a .1% annual return on my IRA.

Let me break that down for you.  Let's say I have $100 in my account.  Last year I could have made. . . are you ready for this number to blow your mind?. . .10 cents.

TEEEENNNNN CENTS!!!!

I'm blushing with embarrassment realizing that I'd be just as good with it piled under our mattress.  But, unfortunately there is no room under our mattress because David stores our machetes there.  (This, sadly, is also true.)

Needless to say, historically I have been a low-risk investor. (Understatement of the last google years).

David's turn.

Alan looks to him, "How about you?" (Translation: Your wife is hopeless, please tell me that you know what you are doing.)

"I don't really have any money left in my IRA."

Dave pauses (for dramatic effect no doubt) and then continues,

"Have you heard of Mohler International?  They build flying cars. Yeah, I put my money there."

My risk level: Ten cents a year.
David's risk level: Cars. . .that. . . fly.

Opposites.