And the incredible response from our cousin Matt that I mentioned above:
As it stands now, I don't think either Sarah or myself will be at the beach. This does not mean, however, that wearing the aforementioned 'jorts' is not a tragedy of Shakespearean proportion. My heart truly goes out to you and David, and indeed to the rest of humanity doomed to wear jorts for cheesy family portraits or for any other reason, including self-delusion. Why anyone ever thought to themselves, 'say, I think it'd be a great idea to cut the legs off these wranglers that are 3 sizes too small and wear them in public', I shall never know. Therefore I shall arise and stand with all that is good, holy, and fashionable and wage war upon the demon that is known in lower places as Jorts. May our victory against Jorts come swiftly that it may be seen that khakis shall triumph always. Amen.