Wednesday, May 5, 2010

[ Stream of Consciousness ]*

Want a little insight into how my brain works?  Here's a stream of consciousness for you, blog-style:

I have my own Stewart Little in my office now.  Discovered him this week.  Didn't know I had issues with mice until the encounter occurred:

Screams were heard throughout our 30,000 sq ft building.  I jumped on top of my desk and wrapped my scarf around my ears because I NEVER want to hear those awful squeaks again.  AH! My skin crawled just thinking about the sound!!

Thankfully some of the guys came to my rescue. Not sure I will ever live down my little dramatic episode though.

I had a bird in my office a few weeks ago too.  Landed on this lamp next to the fake bird.

Not sure why I am now attracting woodland creatures.

I'm starting to feel like Snow White. First, there is our cottage where people tell us they expect to see dwarfs walk out and see Snow White sweeping the front porch.  And now I have woodland creatures flocking to me.

I used to dress up as Snow White to visit hospitals while working at my first job out of college.

Around the same time, I went to see The Devil Wears Prada with some co-workers and left thinking, "That lady wasn't so bad."

I resigned shortly thereafter.

Back to woodland creatures:

My friend Angela was out one day and noticed lots of people dressed in animal costumes.  She thought it was funny.  She had her picture made with some.  Then she asked why they were dressed in such a way.  They said they were "Furries".  Ang had never heard of that so she googled it and was appalled to find out that Furries are people who are attracted to other people dressed as woodland creatures.   Hmmm.  (Do not google it.  You do not want to see what Ang saw when she did.)

I have two Angela friends.  I used to call them "High School Angela" and "College Angela" but people still could not remember which was which so I started referring to them as "White Angela" and "Black Angela".

Problem solved.

If you don't know me, that might sound prejudice, but I am not.

In fact, every Feb. in high school we would celebrate Black History Month with Black Angela:

To be honest, I experience quite a bit of cultural-envy towards African Americans.  {They just really love life!} In fact, last week a few of us went to see Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married, Too?" in an all-African American theater.  The security guard's Segway had spinners.

Oh, and before the movie we had dinner at Gladys Knight's Chicken and Waffles.

So, so good. Made me want to slap my mama.

Actually, I wouldn't slap my mama; Firstly, because I love her and secondly, she provides us with way too much entertainment.

On my birthday she asked me where we wanted to go to lunch.  She gave me three options: "The Chop Shop, Pot of Gold, or McGoo's"

David whispered to me, "What is she talking about?"

I translated for him, "She means, 'The Butcher Block, Potluck Cafe, or Angus McGee's'."

Translators. They have been incredible in my various travels. 

Oh, except for that one time when I was 18 and was in Ukraine with my friend Cali (who was 17) and we were placed in a home with a babooshka (grandma), mom, young daughter & 3 sons in their 20's.  None of which spoke a lick of english.  (And we didn't know a lick of Russian).

Oh, and we were without a translator.  Have you ever tried to live with someone who doesn't speak a single word that you do? How about if your friend was a vegetarian and babooska just fed us bowl after bowl of unidentfiable meats?

Speaking of strange meat, I think the rat may have died in my office.  I've started to smell something.


Hannah D said...

I love this post! I suppose it's because it gives me a glimpse into how your mind works--which is not unlike my own in many ways (ahem, my kindred!) How we can go from one subject to another without skipping a beat...all subjects pretty much unrelated to each other...except that they really are...(okay, well in our minds at least!)

...and what in the blaze do you have on your head in the 2nd picture?

Cali and Steve VanHorn said...

LOL!!! You make me laugh SO HARD! SO MUCH! Love your train of thought. Great memories of Ukraine and your man Victor. and the meats...OH, the meats! I know you are probably the ONLY person who knew how hard every meal was with babooshka feeding me!


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